An indulgent little rant

For my English assignment this week I got to indulge a little and we were asked to give our opinion on an aspect in life that we felt we were being increasingly controlled. I chose parenting......so here goes..

There is an increasing pressure in society today to live our lives in a way that others see as correct. We are told on many occasions what we should be eating, drinking and even how we should dress.

Another aspect of this is how we parent our children. This is an aspect that particularly interests me as I have 3 children of my own.

There is a pressure on women from the minute they find out they are pregnant...don't eat this, don't eat that. Don't sleep on your back and be sure to take folic acid to prevent spinal problems. Whilst some of these can be a good thing and have been medically proven to benefit both mother and child others just seem to spring from nowhere and then change again 5 years later and tell them to do the exact opposite. There seems to be so much contradiction with the advice that is given.

You are told to sterilise everything that goes near your children's mouths for the first 12 months of their lives. Again this is to protect the child from dangerous bugs and germs. But what about building up a natural resistance to such germs through tiny amounts of exposure to them. We watch our children 24 hours a day to make sure they don't play to vigorously on play equipment at the park and injure themselves. Is this stifling any sense of adventure they may have and making them more apprehensive to trying new things.

As your child grows so does the pressure to get things just right. There are a multitude of programmes on TV about parenting. Each one seems to deal in the same sort of issues but in a slightly different way. Whist these programmes strive to make life easier by telling you the right way to bring them up they can also just increase the guilt you feel when you see yourself as getting it wrong. I think this is a terrible situation as it only makes what is difficult and stressful anyway even more so.

Today, I feel, we have a tendency to over analyse and research everything and I think this is one of the reasons this is happening. I think parents need to be given more confidence in their own ability to know what is best for their children.

Advice should always be on offer for those who feel they need it but there also needs to be a little more common sense. It took me into my 5^th year of parenting to be able to sit back and think that I was doing ok. My children were happy, healthy and enjoying life. So they might get a bit dirty when making mud pies and they often end up with various bumps and bruises from running around at the park but what does that matter in the grand scheme of things.

Ralphie

At college today I was asked to write something short and informal about someone who was or had meant something to me. I chose to write about my grandpa. I have also chosen to post it here for prosperity......so here goes.....




Ralphie


My Grandpa, John Ralph Welsh. Known to most as Ralph but to his cheeky young granddaughter as Ralphie.

My grandpa was one of the most loving men I have ever known. He was also one of the most special people I had around in my early years. I would spend most weekends following in his shadow. I loved to be with him.

He was a Yorkshire man, with one of the most broad accents I had ever heard. He had a strong imposing voice but came across as such a quiet man.

I can picture him now, sitting in his big blue chair, positioned at just the right angle so he could keep a careful watch out of the front window and an eagle eye on what was going on in the world outside. His grey hair would glisten as the sun shone through.

My Grandpa was my mum’s dad. He struggled in the first few months of my life to accept he had a granddaughter. My mum was unmarried and still living at home when she gave birth to me. As he saw me growing up I must have grown on him as what started as a reluctant acceptance soon grew into complete and unconditional love. I always remember him showering me with attention and affection. He was a very demonstrative man.

I can never remember him having a ‘proper’ job. He was a bit of an odd job man and frequently I used to go with him on what I saw as adventures. On days when he was a chimney sweep it would be my job to stand outside and shout when I saw the sooty brush push a puff of black dust out of the top of the chimney, a job for which I would be rewarded with a shiny new 10p.
On the days when he was a gardener it was my job to follow him around with a small yellow plastic child’s bucket collecting snails that had been devouring his clients most precious blooms. For this I would be rewarded with afternoon tea and homemade cakes.

When he didn’t have work we would walk for hours, him leading the way with some random branch he had found that would serve as a walking stick for the afternoon’s outing. As we walked we would pick the sticky blackberries that grew in the hedgerows. We wouldn’t usually return home with many (if any at all) but our purple fingertips and lips would give the game away that we had eaten them all on the way back.

My grandpa was an indulgent man, he would let me put tiny pigtails in his coarse hair and I would comb his eyebrows, all the while giggling as they were the longest eyebrows I had ever seen. He wore glasses and when we played cards he would smile to himself and wink at me as he knew I was cheating and checking out his hand in the reflection in them. But never once did he stop me.

He taught me to dance too. He would whiz me around their tiny cluttered living room to music played on his ancient record player. Louis Armstrong’s "What a wonderful world" being his favourite. I don’t think I have ever felt happier than I did during these moments and that song will always bring a smile and a warm feeling into my heart whenever I hear it.

My Grandpa died 5 years ago and I still miss him. What he did for me may not seem important to anyone other than myself but the love he showed me taught me how to show love for others, and for that I will be forever grateful.

New year, New start.......and another go at this blogging thing

After taking the first step and plucking up the courage to have a go at this blogging lark I very quickly lost my bottle and it has sat here for much longer than it should have done without being touched.
I found the thought of others being able to read what I had written rather intimidating. What if it wasn't good enough? What if I came across as a bit of a numptie who couldn't compose a complete sentence without a mistake? What if maybe I gave just a bit too much of 'me' away and my web buddies decided I wasn't all they thought I was after all?

See all that is kind of my problem. I think too much and worry far too much about what others may think of me. Its hard not to though isnt it? In a world that can be so judgemental and competitive, not fitting in and making the grade is a worry and instead of putting myself out there I find myself not saying anything at all in fear of saying the wrong thing.

I have decided that has got to change!

Anyhow, after being super brave (well maybe just a little bit brave) and taking the decision to become a governor at the button's primary school things have kind of snowballed. I'm still struggling to catch up with the changes that I have made but I must say I'm loving every minute.
That first step showed me that maybe, just maybe I was capable of functioning in the big wide world outside of my cosy and safe living room.

An innocent conversation about education with my bestest of forum buddies over on the (3rd reincarnation of the) shut up Carole thread led to me being very much encouraged to do something that I have dreamed about for a number of years.
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a midwife. I cant even explain why but for some inexplicable reason I feel it is kind of my calling. Its just something that in my heart I crave to do.
So one dreary morning in November I phoned the local college and enquired about an access course. That in itself felt like a huge ordeal, picking up the phone and talking to a stranger is a bit scary....But I did it.
After yet more encouragement I decided to go the the open evening just to get a little bit of advice. Much to my surprise I was given an application form, Told to fill it in and was invited to and interview and assessment day 2 days later. I didn't really have time to get nervous. I just went along with it.
A week later I got a letter telling me they were pleased to be able to offer me a place *cue Chockie bricking it*

During this time I had also decided to apply for my first job in over 10 years. Again much to my surprise I breezed through the interview for that too and was offered a position on the bank staff as a HCA with the local hospital with the hope of it leading to some shifts on maternity. I'm still waiting for a few formalities to be completed before I can start but I'm feeling good about it.

I started college this week and I have to say I'm loving it. I feel like a grown up again. I was scared of feeling like that quiet little girl who I was when at school Scared to open my mouth in case what came out made me look foolish but its nothing like that. I love having other grown ups to talk to. I feel I'm coming into my own. I have an opinion and when I speak people stop and listen to what I'm saying. Sometimes they agree, Sometimes they don't, but that doesn't matter as they respect me for having an opinion anyway. What I have to say is valid and people want to hear it and in that I feel validated. I am a person again.

I feel new again, I'm excited for the first time in a long time and I'm looking forward to what the future may hold.

I have a few people I want to thank while I'm here and they are my forum buddies.....So in no particular order, to Balders, Bertie, Mikey, Miniluv, Janet, Kitty, Plausy, Scots and poblet......And any others I may have missed.....Thank you. You have all helped make me the person I feel I am today. You have supported and encouraged me and listened to my silly insecurities and worries without complaint. Without you all I would still be sad, lonely and feeling like the future had nothing exciting to offer me.
Right now I cant wait to see what's coming next.

School Day Memories

As I said in my previous blog I went back to my old secondary school to visit recently. Its that time in my eldest button's life where we have to think about secondary schools. Well more than think about it. We had to have our preferences in last week. During the last few weeks we have visited about 6 in the area and didn't feel terribly impressed with any of them. It was then when we decided to go al little further a field and visit mine and hubby's old school.

I had a mixture of emotions in the few hours before we were due to arrive, I was surprisingly nervous, excited and hopeful it would be all I remembered it being.

I was a bit of a mouse at school and went very much unnoticed.....what they call in the trade as an invisible child. I had no real problems, wasn't bullied, felt safe and secure but was never really noticed. I also loved school. I wasn't the brightest of children but liked to learn new stuff and see my friends every day.
Hubby and I first met on our first day of secondary school when we were put in the same form. We were friends from then on and became bestest friends at the age of 14.

It was strange being back. I was excited as we were walking in....was excited walking round....was impressed with the whole ethos of the place and was having a jolly nice time....until I walked into the geography class and came head to head with Mr Thomas. Now Mr Thomas used to scare the living daylights out of me and my first reaction was to put my head down and walk quickly away just in case he told me off for the state of my project on travel and tourism in year 5 (it wasn't impressive)
Isn't it funny after all these years a figure of authority from my childhood could still provoke that reaction.
I then saw my old English teacher (my first crush) and turned into a girly gibbering wreck.
I had to go outside to breath and gather myself.

I was cross with myself by this point and decided I was a grown up and it was about time I saw myself as one. I was an equal now and could hold a perfectly adult conversation with any of these people.
All went well from then on....I even managed a conversation with the head teacher who remembered a cake my mum had made for a fund raising thing .....teehee.....who would have thought it. Some of these teachers really do deserve a medal just for their memory alone.

Hubby and I had a giggle walking past a few of our old snogging spots...and the hideout we would use on cross country days (behave.... 'twas nothing saucy) And the escape route into town we used during orienteering when we would go to the butchers and buy pork scratchings or to the corner shop for ice creams on hot days.

After all these years I still felt at home there and what was lovely was that so did Jack. It has now gone down as his 1st preference. Even though the school is usually oversubscribed and out of area the head doesn't think we will have a problem getting him in. Its such a huge worry off our shoulders. Some of the other schools we saw scared the living daylights out of me and I was very apprehensive about jack having to go to them and so was he.

As we walked away I was called back by my old cooking teacher...she shouted "See you at parents evening then".....I certainly hope I do.


Chockie x x

Oops......Better late than never

Well....After setting off on a roaring start I had a sudden crisis of confidence and haven't written again for a while.

I'm having a good week this week so thought I would give this blogging lark another go.

I haven't got much in particular to say so this post will probably be a mixed up ramble and a catch up.


Firstly....The governors meeting....Well all in all I came home feeling jolly pleased with myself. I was incredible nervous when I got there and plonked myself down and tried to blend in. This wasn't as easy as I had first thought as I had chosen to wear a bright pink top....oops
There was another newbie there that night too....a rather tasty young man newbie as it so happened and so I shuffled my chair over and said hello.
He has been recruited as a community governor from the local parish council.

Things kicked off and I was most embarrassed when the chair...(get me...I know all the big words) decided everyone should introduce themselves to the newbies. One of the people just happened to be my eldest buttons teacher....And it kind of broke the ice when I congratulated him of still having hair after teaching jack for just over a year.

Things progressed and lots of big grown up words were used. Lots of abbreviations too (which I jotted down to google when I got home) he he
I got to find out some really interesting stuff and even surprised myself when I spoke.....I know....I really did....I spoke, In front of everybody.

The whole thing seemed to go on for hours but I was so glad I did it. If only to prove the point to myself that I could. I shall now dread the next one a little less.


Right as for other stuff...I have finally got round to registering for a myspace account bit I have to admit I found it all most confusing....I can log in...but that's about it. Its not like here....I cant even find the places to put the little template or widget code things in. Maybe I will have another go soon.

I also went back to school again...this time not in my role as a governor but as a prospective parent. My eldest button is due to go to secondary school next September but we have to have our preferences in by 5th November this year. Hubby and I went to look around our old school. It was a good evening filled with a lots of different and varying emotions.
Hmmmmmm I think I shall save this idea as it would make a rather interesting blog of its own..

Oooooo and I have learned a way of getting rid of everyone and spending the evening alone...I have discovered I can acquire tonnes of episodes of Dancing with the stars via the interweb. I love dancing and wish I had a little grace and co-ordination to be able to do it myself. But sticking an episode on the lappy guarantees hubby and kids promptly leave the room to go do something else....good eh!!


Oh and one last thing....An apology to Kitty and Sas.... I didn't realise I had clicked a box meaning I had to moderate my comments...oops....I have just found them. Being clever was never one of my strong points. So thanks guys...At least now I know you have been over...lol

Chockie x x

Im Going Back To School

Well not literally as I think they might notice if there was a 31 year old mummy sat at the back of the year 6 class but shortly before the kids broke up for the summer I was asked by the head if I would consider joining the board of governors.

I was very much taken aback and didn't quite know what to say so I told her I would think about it.

My first thought was, why me....what have I got to offer a room full of people that know what they are doing. I'm pretty terrible for that, I doubt myself constantly and find it hard to see the qualities others say I have. Another thing is I wouldn't be surprised if I'm pretty well known in the office as being a moany mummy as on a number of occasions I have been in when unhappy about something and had a good old moan. I still couldn't get my head around the fact she wanted me to join them....

Anyway after much hmmmmming and arrrrring I decided to go for it.

My reasons,

• Im nosy.....Im sure I will get to find out lots of interesting things parents dont usually get to know
• Its been a long time since the old brain got a work out and I was actually expected to make intelligent conversation with someone over the age of 10
• Im interested in the education of my children and in education in general
• Maybe this will be the kick up the bum I need to launch myself back into the big wide world after 10 years of being a full time mummy to the buttons
  

So all was fine....I had made a decision and I quickly went into school and told her before I changed my mind.
And I have been surprisingly relaxed and ok about it until about 3 days ago when I received a rather large letter from my friendly postie. It was all the paperwork to do with the first meeting. Its next week ....oh my bloody god.....next week. I have read and reread the stuff and half of it I still dont understand. I cant believe how incredibly nervous I am and I've finally figured out why....Its because I'm really not sure what's expected of me. What do I do, what do I say, OMG what do I wear... I'm panicking now!! What if nobody talks to me or I say something really really stupid (even for me!), I'm gonna come away feeling like a right lemon. And its not like I can walk away and not have to see these people again....I have to see most of them every bloody day.....just to relive my horror of what was my first meeting.

Today I have decided what the hell.....and I asked myself again what I had to offer.. The answer was, I'm a good mummy who wants the best for her children, I care about their welfare greatly and at times I can be opinionated about it. Being a governor just gives me a more official way of doing it.

How long this new brave chockie lasts for is anyone's guess but for now I'm liking it. Maybe a post will appear on Thursday detailing my horror of the night before or even, just maybe it will say how great it felt to be out there on my own again being a grown up......you never know.

Chockie x x x

Its pink.....Look

Well after much faffing about and much googling I managed to turn my blog pink. I'm still not entirely happy with it though. Its not quite the look I was hoping for but I'm pretty chuffed with myself really.

I hate not knowing how to do something but bore incredibly easily if I cant learn how to do it quickly. In that respect the computer and google have taught me lots. I started off scared to death of the thing. I was sure I would break it just turning it on and looking at it but no, I have played....googled then played around some more. This is probably why now when hubby says...."Em...how do you do....I cant make it do....what would happen if"....I get so frustrated. Sometimes because if I'm not sat there looking at the buttons and what I need to press I cant remember how I did it but usually because I think well I learned through trial and error, spending hours trying to make one little thing happen. I think that is the best way to learn. It kind of sticks with you. And you gain an awful lot of satisfaction from sitting back and thinking...I did that.

Today's little adventure is to find a little music player to add to my blog and figure out how to put some tunes on. I had a quick look yesterday but the pink thing had worn me out and I needed a fresh head to approach it with. I now have a couple of pages loaded up ready to go and 3 google pages with various instructions depending on which one I go with. I'm sure, no doubt that at some point today I shall swear a little, threaten to throw the lappy on the floor and stamp on it and have to drink numerous cups of tea before it will make sense but once it does I will be ever so pleased with myself and pretty chuffed I got one up on the bloody thing.

I may be slow but get there in the end......I'm happy with that.