Im Going Back To School

Well not literally as I think they might notice if there was a 31 year old mummy sat at the back of the year 6 class but shortly before the kids broke up for the summer I was asked by the head if I would consider joining the board of governors.

I was very much taken aback and didn't quite know what to say so I told her I would think about it.

My first thought was, why me....what have I got to offer a room full of people that know what they are doing. I'm pretty terrible for that, I doubt myself constantly and find it hard to see the qualities others say I have. Another thing is I wouldn't be surprised if I'm pretty well known in the office as being a moany mummy as on a number of occasions I have been in when unhappy about something and had a good old moan. I still couldn't get my head around the fact she wanted me to join them....

Anyway after much hmmmmming and arrrrring I decided to go for it.

My reasons,

• Im nosy.....Im sure I will get to find out lots of interesting things parents dont usually get to know
• Its been a long time since the old brain got a work out and I was actually expected to make intelligent conversation with someone over the age of 10
• Im interested in the education of my children and in education in general
• Maybe this will be the kick up the bum I need to launch myself back into the big wide world after 10 years of being a full time mummy to the buttons
  

So all was fine....I had made a decision and I quickly went into school and told her before I changed my mind.
And I have been surprisingly relaxed and ok about it until about 3 days ago when I received a rather large letter from my friendly postie. It was all the paperwork to do with the first meeting. Its next week ....oh my bloody god.....next week. I have read and reread the stuff and half of it I still dont understand. I cant believe how incredibly nervous I am and I've finally figured out why....Its because I'm really not sure what's expected of me. What do I do, what do I say, OMG what do I wear... I'm panicking now!! What if nobody talks to me or I say something really really stupid (even for me!), I'm gonna come away feeling like a right lemon. And its not like I can walk away and not have to see these people again....I have to see most of them every bloody day.....just to relive my horror of what was my first meeting.

Today I have decided what the hell.....and I asked myself again what I had to offer.. The answer was, I'm a good mummy who wants the best for her children, I care about their welfare greatly and at times I can be opinionated about it. Being a governor just gives me a more official way of doing it.

How long this new brave chockie lasts for is anyone's guess but for now I'm liking it. Maybe a post will appear on Thursday detailing my horror of the night before or even, just maybe it will say how great it felt to be out there on my own again being a grown up......you never know.

Chockie x x x

Its pink.....Look

Well after much faffing about and much googling I managed to turn my blog pink. I'm still not entirely happy with it though. Its not quite the look I was hoping for but I'm pretty chuffed with myself really.

I hate not knowing how to do something but bore incredibly easily if I cant learn how to do it quickly. In that respect the computer and google have taught me lots. I started off scared to death of the thing. I was sure I would break it just turning it on and looking at it but no, I have played....googled then played around some more. This is probably why now when hubby says...."Em...how do you do....I cant make it do....what would happen if"....I get so frustrated. Sometimes because if I'm not sat there looking at the buttons and what I need to press I cant remember how I did it but usually because I think well I learned through trial and error, spending hours trying to make one little thing happen. I think that is the best way to learn. It kind of sticks with you. And you gain an awful lot of satisfaction from sitting back and thinking...I did that.

Today's little adventure is to find a little music player to add to my blog and figure out how to put some tunes on. I had a quick look yesterday but the pink thing had worn me out and I needed a fresh head to approach it with. I now have a couple of pages loaded up ready to go and 3 google pages with various instructions depending on which one I go with. I'm sure, no doubt that at some point today I shall swear a little, threaten to throw the lappy on the floor and stamp on it and have to drink numerous cups of tea before it will make sense but once it does I will be ever so pleased with myself and pretty chuffed I got one up on the bloody thing.

I may be slow but get there in the end......I'm happy with that.

Well now what

So I now have this nice new blog....what do I do with it. I have looked at many others. Some I find myself clicking past rather quickly, others I linger a little longer over and some I get completely enthralled in. What makes me stick around and check it out some more, well it helps if it looks pretty. Its nice if the design and layout say something about the poster. Mine....well it was the first one I clicked on. No, I have to admit that's a lie. I clicked on a few and thought this one will have to do. I decided this morning to set about making my blog more personal to me but I have quickly discovered I must have been the class thicky as it all looks Greek to me. I found site which promised me it was oh so easy ...errr yeah right. You didn't mean chockie easy did you. Oh no I had numbers and letters and dots and dashes all over the place. I dutifully did as I was told and downloaded a rather pretty pink template, I pasted the dots and dashes with accompanying numbers into the template box clicked save and waited for my pretty new pink blog to pop up and what did I get....Zip.....I got an error message saying something along the lines of " you dizzy cow...Did you really think you were clever enough to beat me"
So I guess I need to do a little more research before I try and be so adventurous again.....

Chockie goes of to find a nursery guide to blogs and making them pink .....

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

OMG...............I've done it

Well bugger me. I've done it. I still don't know why and I still don't know if anyone will be interested but I have been inspired to write my very first blog.

Now my inspiration has to be my friend (who I would like to call my friend if he didn't mind)
Mr Bertie Bassett. Berties blog is a masterpiece of blogging. I urge anyone who mistakenly come across this to check it out.
Its through reading his blog and the encouragement he has given that I have felt able to write this today. Wether I will actually show it to anyone is a different matter but 1 step at a time eh!

Now I have decided to do a blog I have suddenly found myself with very little to say. I pride myself on having an opinion on everything but when I'm under pressure to deliver I'm unable to. I feel rather inadequate. All I know about is what I do. I'm a mummy.....To 3 beautiful buttons. I do school runs, make lunches and cook dinner, clean up and wash clothes ......Day in day out and for the most part it is very satisfying. what's interesting about that???

See I could probably write a million things now but wont......as I have sat and pondered over this for a while now and have decided everything I had to say wasn't interesting enough.

I have decided to use this space to come to whenever I want to say something but think I shouldn't. Why shouldn't I....I ask myself. What stops me from putting myself out there and actually saying something that might reveal a little bit about who I am. Something that might show me to think differently to the majority, and why does that scare me. The fear of ridicule and non acceptance I suppose. don't we all want to belong somewhere and be accepted.
When do we decide its ok to be who we are. I honestly thought I would be there by now.


So before I ramble on into non existence I'm going to leave it there. Determined to come back tomorrow with something else to say.